WHY WORK WITH ME?
I'm friendly and I care. I know it can be nerve-wracking seeking out this type of therapy so I aim to put my clients at ease quickly in a shame-free, non-judgemental, sex-positive space. I've successfully worked with people of all ages, backgrounds, sexualities and neurodiversities.
I'm practical and goal-orientated, direct and directional. A lot of what we do is investigative: digging into what's happening and why, whether it's helping uncover any psychological or behavioural reasons contributing to the issue, "joining the dots" as one client used to say; or I might suggest tests, interventions or exercises.
I get it. I'm neurodivergent and non-monogamous myself, both of which I've only acknowledged later in life after trying to squeeze myself into boxes that didn't fit.
SAMANTHA
FALCONER
PSYCHOSEXUAL AND RELATIONSHIP THERAPIST,
CLINICAL SEXOLOGIST
SPECIALISMS
As a sex therapist, I have training and experience with a variety of sex problems related to sex, intimacy, and sexuality; and as a general couples counsellor and relationship coach, with any and all relationship issues. Many of my clients are ADHD, autistic, AuDHD. Please ask.
FOR COUPLES
Affairs, Mismatched Desire, Communication Issues, Support Through Separation
I can help when communication or intimacy has broken down, faciliate work towards reconciliation after affairs, address domestic disparity, or mediate some tougher conversations. More info
Though I'm non-monogamous, I respect and honour monogamy and every client's personal values. I like to think I bring a alternative perspective when people may be stuck in roles which are making them unhappy.
Polyamory, Ethical Non-Monogamy, Open Relationships, Swinging
Whether you're considering opening your relationship or already have, or are living as poly or ENM, we can work through the pleasures, pains and potential pitfalls, with, above all, mutual agreement, establishment of boundaries, and consent.
No one will ever be pressured to do anything they don't want to do, that's rule number one.
FOR INDIVIDUALS
Painful Sex, Vaginismus, Vulvodynia, Genito Pelvic Pain Disorder (GPPD)
Whether or not you have a diagnosis yet, I'll help you figure out what's going on, guide you to get to know your body better, and, most importantly, be there for you to be vulnerable and heard.
For a testimonial, click HERE
Low or Changed Libido, Mismatched Desire, Orgasm Issues, Hormonal Changes
Together we can work on what makes you tick, help discover or rediscover your reduced arousal due to life events, relationship issues or physical changes like menopause, or validate and own your low libido or asexuality. There is no pressure here to be or do anything that doesn't fit.
Relationship Problems: Resentment, Loss of Desire, Affairs, "Attachment" Issues
If you're considering breaking up, or struggle with being in a relationship at all, I can help you work through identity, sexuality, worries and decisons, and support and coach you in having make-or-break conversations with a partner.
Identity Around Sexuality, Asexuality or Gender
Maybe you're trying to work out who you are, who you're attracted to, or whether you're attracted to anyone at all. We can explore the authentic you in a safe space. I am anti-conversion therapy of any kind, meaning no one will ever be made to feel they should be having sex.
Erectile Dysfunction, Premature or Delayed Ejaculation, Performance Anxiety
Whether your issue is physical, psychological, a mix of both, or you don't even know yet, I'll try and help you work out what your body is doing and why, calmly, caringly and curiously. You're safe with me.
For a testimonial, click HERE
Compulsive Sexual Behaviours
"Porn Addiction," "Sex Addiction," Hypersexuality
If you think you have a problem here, we can work out if so and why, when it started and what's propelling it, and towards a place of less distress and shame, and help you curb any problematic behaviour or practises, if necessary.
For a testimonial, click HERE
Kinks, Fetishes; BDSM, Dom/Sub Play; Solo or Partnered "Alternative" Sex
If you're in distress, feeling confusion, shame or perhaps a partner has responded badly, we can explore this with no judgement, and move towards self-knowledge, shame reduction, inner peace or pleasure.
Rediscovering Sexuality After Trauma or Illness
Trauma from an event or experience, an abusive relationship, sexual assault, or a life-changing illness, can affect identity, sexuality, drive, relationships and our relationships with our body, but there can be a way back.
KINDLY NOTE
Psychosexual and relationship therapy is a specialised form of talking therapy and does does not involve touch of any kind, which is specifically prohibited by COSRT's Code of Ethics.
PRICES
INDIVIDUAL
Online:
£80 per session
£450 block of six
In Person:
£90 per session
£510 block of six
COUPLE
Online:
£110 per session
£630 block of six
In Person:
£120 per session
£690 block of six
LOW COST THERAPY
Online Only:
From £65 per session
These limited slots are reserved for low-waged clients, and clients from marginalised communities.
SAMANTHA FALCONER
ABOUT ME
After many years working in the media, I set out to become a sex therapist in 2021 after being unable to find a therapist experienced with “non-normative” relationships. It felt there was little room to explore the possibility that maybe some people aren't broken or "avoidant," we're just different from the norm.
I trained at The Contemporary Institute of Clinical Sexology (CICS), the UK's most prestigious psychosexual training school and am registered with College of Sex and Relationship Therapists (COSRT) and abide by their code of ethics and standards.
I take a great interest in shame. So much of the work I do is rooted in shame, I witness the damage done by its use as a weapon of social control, slut shaming for example, or transgressing the "rules" of masculinity.
APPROACH
I work around my clients. I'm trained in - and passionate about - the pluralistic (aka integrative) approach which sees clients as unique inidividuals with varying therapeutic needs, each requiring different ways of working. Many of my clients who have had therapy before have felt "shoehorned" into a modality.
We'll begin with getting to know each other and you feeling comfortable with me, then we work out how we are going to work together.
My approach is known to be direct and directional, but always with curiosity and care. I am ready to hold you through the tough bits and have a laugh if it gets silly...which it sometimes, often, can.
I am trained in EFT, "tapping," which I use to help ground us all if things gets too stressful.
TIMESCALE
This work can take six weeks to six months or more, usually it's somewhere in between.
However, the nature of this goal-focussed specialised work means that I don’t do long-term work unless the presentation requires it. My greatest satisfaction as a therapist is sending clients onwards on the rest of their journey, as one client put it, “I can take the wheel from here”.
I do do longer term work with some couples who like having a regular check-in for the health of their relationship.
ACTIVE INCLUSIVITY
I'm diagnosed ADHD with undiagnosed autistic traits, let's talk fabrics and noises.
My approach can work well with my neurodivergent (diagnosed, self-diagnosed or suspected) clients. I work with you collaboratively, factoring in any previous poor experiences in therapy, or issues such as Relationship Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD).
I work hard to provide a safe and informed space for Global Majority, LGBTQIA+, sex worker clients, and anyone with non-normative relationship styles and sexual practices.
I adhere to GSRD Therapy ethics ("gender, sex and relationship diversity") which was coined by Pink Therapy to highlight the needs of some clients to have a therapist who is committed to social justice, is trauma informed and culturally competent but with humility. You are welcome to ask me whatever you need to feel reassured.
CERTIFICATIONS & INSURANCE
- Level 7 Diploma in Psychosexual and Relationship Therapy from The Contemporary Institute of Clinical Sexology (CICS)
- College of Sex and Relationship Therapists (COSRT) registered
- Levels 2 & 3 Counselling Skills. Awarding body CPCAB
- Level 1 EFT aka Emotional Freedom Techniques (The Energy Therapy Centre)
- Trauma informed
- ADHD and autism informed
- Advanced DBS; insured with Holistic Insurance
WHY "ROOKERY" THERAPY
I'm a bit of a birdwatcher and I particularly love watching rooks build their rookeries. They are haphazard, precarious and chaotic, a raucous locus of mating and breeding.
But they're also an emblem of determination against a sometimes unfriendly world, and a place of gathering, safety and nurture.
At Rookery Therapy you'll find support amid the chaos.
GET IN TOUCH
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Contact me confidentially.
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You can book a free 20 minute "meet and greet" on Zoom or phone or...
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Book an introductory session.
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There will be some paperwork to complete in due course for confidentiality and safety.
LOCATIONS
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East London Therapy, 185a Hoe Street, Walthamstow E17 3AP
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Cherry Tree Therapy, Station Parade, Buckhurst Hill IG9 6EU
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Online
Please note, this is not an emergency service. If you are in crisis and need immediate help, you should contact The Samaritans, call 999 or 111, or visit your local A&E.
